Hi, I’m Antonia! Thanks for visiting Health Inspirations! I am a 23-year-old nutrition student from Austria studying in England with a passion for cooking and baking, healthy eating, fashion and beauty, photography and working out.
For me, my health is probably the most important thing in my life. However, it has taken me many years of struggling with my weight, battling anorexia and fighting binge eating to discover that life is not about how much we weigh or how our body looks like, but rather how we feel. I know it sounds like a cliché, but life really is about more than just counting calories or thinking about food. I really believe that healthy food makes us feel better and gives us more energy than eating processed and highly sweetened products. Moreover taking care of our bodies will make us look more radiant and beautiful. I am so passionate about health that I even study Nutrition at University.
But let me share a little bit about my life. I consider myself very lucky because my childhood was incredibly special. I grew up in one of the most beautiful and spectacular countries, Indonesia, and at a very young age had the opportunity to discover a beautiful part of the world that many never get to see. I went to a great school that offered all kinds of extracurricular activities. I was very athletic and did gymnastics, soccer, basketball and swimming.
However, when I was ten, my family moved back to Austria, where we originally come from. The first couple of months at a new school were horrible. It was extremely difficult for me to make friends because the girls at school had their own groups of friends and would not let me join in on anything they were doing. Moreover, my school did not offer any sports programs. I started gaining weight and was really uncomfortable with my body. I stopped doing sports all together and ate whenever I was bored.
Only when I was 15 years old, I started exercising again. I decided that I wanted to change my body because I just wanted to look like everyone else, being able to wear a bikini and not being stared at. I started out by doing 30 minutes on the stationary bike 2-3 times a week. After some time I decided to give “dinner cancelling” a try and restricted my self of food after 4pm. Eventually, I increased the amount of exercise I was doing to 5-6 times a week and stopped eating desserts or sweets.
I was really proud of myself because I was finally seeing results. My hard work was paying off and my friends at school and my family were noticing that I looked better. However, instead of accepting the way I looked, I restricted my food intake even more and lost even more weight. Before I knew it I was anorexic. I had lost more than 30kg in just 7 months. I was really hard for me to admit to myself that something was wrong and I was too scared of talking to my parents about what I was going through. It took me many months before I could open up to anyone.
It is really hard to explain to a person who is not affected by an eating disorder what it’s like to be anorexic. To me it felt like my body and my mind were to individuals who were working against each other. My body wanted food, but my mind was always stronger and would not let me eat. Quite often I would sit in front of a simple cookie, wanting to eat it, but my mind wouldn’t let me.
The best decision I have made in my life was to go to therapy. Opening up to a person who didn’t know me, who did not judge my decision and genuinely wanted to help was exactly what I needed and I honestly recommend therapy to anyone who is battling an E.D. Even though I did not instantly gain weight through therapy, I did notice a difference about myself after every session. I immediately felt stronger and was willing to change my life and be healthier.
It took me a little over 2 years to actually start gaining weight. At first it was really difficult to see myself get healthier but I knew that it was the right thing to do. However, gaining weight turned out to be more difficult than I thought. Instead of enjoying the food I ate I was binge eating and not realizing that the amount of food I was eating was unhealthy. Instead of eating one slice of cake I would sometimes end up eating half the cake and the portions I was eating were out of control. After realizing that I had gained 10kg in only more than one month I even had times when I threw up after meals because I was so afraid of gaining all the weight back.
My fear became reality. Due to the amount of food I was eating I gained back 35kg in less than a year and of course was very unhappy with the way I looked. After being anorexic and having the ability to forbid myself from eating my favorite food for over two years it was terrible to stand in front of the mirror looking at the body I was trying to escape from for the last 4 years.
It took me a long time to accept myself for who I am and not identify myself with my weight. Today, I am probably the healthiest I have ever been because I take care of myself. When I was trying to lose weight exercising was something like a chore, which I had to make myself do. Today, I love to exercise and feel so good after running or doing yoga or going on a bike ride with my family because it is truly something I enjoy. For the fist time in a very long time I am not obsessed with my weight because I know that as long as I live a healthy life my body will also naturally be healthy.
This blog is not a typical healthy living blog and I will probably only mention my eating disorder in a handful of posts. Although I feature a lot of recipes on here, I blog about anything my heart desires: traveling, my favorite products or just simple and maybe boring posts about my life. Ultimately, my aim is to encourage others to enjoy life, live healthy while still enjoying the good things life has to offer.
Thanks for reading and enjoy my blog!